50 Shades of….breastfeeding!?!?!

Credit goes to sweetness for letting me know about this write-up by Scary Mommy

As I sat getting smacked in the face repeatedly by my adorable baby, it became clear to me that I’m not only breastfeeding, but I’m also somehow engaged in an involuntary BDSM relationship. If you’ve ever nursed, these probably sound frighteningly familiar…

1. The Boob Spank: When your baby slaps your breasts — preferably as public humiliation at church or the grocery store — when you don’t submit your boob quickly enough.

2. The Leg Bruiser: When your little muffin of love wants to stand up and nurse while digging toes you previously thought adorable so deep into your thighs they look like a week old banana.

3. The Acrobat face chops: This move combines mobility with the extreme bendable quality of infancy. Possible variations are the roundhouse kick to the nose while maintaining suction, and the swift kick to the ear right while breaking the latch.

4. “I-Cant-Believe-They’re-Not-Knives” Play: Tiny fingernails act as small machetes digging into your chest. This torture is especially concentrated on the thinnest skin of your nipple for maximum “Ow! Fuck!!”

5. The Tantric nurser: The tantric nurser cares not for your cracked nipples from endless hours of nursing. They care not for your aching back from the never ending need for boob. This exquisite form of torture calls for Netflix and nipple cream.

6. The “Hickey”: Too eager to wait for the nipple, baby smashes his head into any part of your chest and nurses like you’ve suddenly grown a third nipple. The marks last for days.

7. The Nipple Clamp: In lieu of normal suckling, baby decides to see if its possible to suck your lung out through your chest. When you break latch, he cries and boob spanks you for non-compliance.

8. The Head-Butt: A classic move designed to ensure your rapid compliance with providing the boob. Baby quickly slams their head towards your breast, sometimes with alarming force. This rookie-training move will often be repeated multiple times until mom is able to jump the gun and provide the breast before it becomes necessary. Excellent for training purposes.

9. The Refusal: This move is only attempted by older infants who have established dominance. The ability to drive mommy to a meltdown or spray her milk everywhere simply by refusing to nurse? That is called power.

10. The Biter: Self Explanatory. Baby will cry with faked remorse when you yell CHEESUS FUCK! into the night and then do it again immediately to condition you to the pain.

Stay safe, mamas.

And as I sat there last night and watched, I realized that in fact little man seems to have laid claim in some small way to My sweetness and made her his milk minion at the tender age of less than a year. Kudos dear boy, kudos.


The genuine article

If one was to google search into the lifestyle, I have the feeling that many guys  fantasize about sexually dominating women. But I also have the feeling that most of them only and exclusively have this  “fantasy”.

Now I will preface this by saying this is just my opinion and of course there are few definites in the life, that said in short I do not feel they have the inner need to take on the responsibility this brings with it. There is the huge misconception that being a Dominant is something that is a purely sexual thing. It is not. It can be in some dynamics I suppose but I guess I have never felt that fully completed me or my partners.  But supposing that “bedroom only” is a fulfilling venture. Even “just” sexual domination demands A LOT of communication, devotion, and respect for your partner. And that is what I see everywhere: The lack of respect.

“Just sexual” or no, domination is way, way, way more than making someone be at “your service”. Actually it’s the exact opposite of that. A Dominant will make nobody be at their service. Domination means proving to their partner that they are worth submitting to them and that they can handle the responsibility they are given. And so the other person will happily be “at their service” by free will.

In my humble opinion, someone who is really dominant wants to be responsible for a person’s well-being. At some point I will likely provide an example of my “required expectations” in any agreement/contract I have submissives enter into. But I digress, and in short I feel if someone is only showing interest in sexual gratification of any kind, chances are indeed that they are only wishing and fantasizing about being a Dominant.

For full disclosure, I am someone who lives in and works in a small place and thus I do not go out and let my D/s flag fly. That said from my lurking and doing some online networking, all Dominants I met and that I consider to be “genuine” have one thing in common: Respect and real caring for others. Because they exactly know that the sex-part is something they don’t even have to waste a thought on in the beginning. If a person proves to you that you can trust them enough that you even submit to them, you will do anything for them.