30 days of Kink Day 9

Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time
The night is my companion and solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?

And I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard, I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes, dear

Through this world I’ve stumbled so many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word, to find the truth enslaved
Oh, you speak to me in riddles and you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath, your words keep me alive

And I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard, I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes, dear

Into this night I wander, it’s morning that I dread
Another day of knowing of the path I fear to tread
Oh, into the sea of waking dreams, I follow without pride
‘Cause nothing stands between us here and I won’t be denied

And I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard, I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes, dear

I’ll hold you down
Kiss you so hard, I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes

I chose this because when I hear it I envision the submissive singing the verses and refrain is the Dominant partner


I also enjoy Good for you by Selina Gomez, especially when sweetness is singing it to me 😉


30 days of Kink- Day 7

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

Does sweetness count? She is my sex toy within the confines of our dynamic, but if that isn’t allowed (though I say it is because this is my blog after all) then likely the dowel rods I have that I sometimes use on sweetness and have her guess the size that I am using.

30 days of Kink- Day 6

Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

Can we really term anything in BDSM as weird? I mean let’s face it it is all a matter of subjective view. I suppose given what I do, my desire to engage in (consensual) kidnapping of sweetness from a public place and then to take her (consensually) forcefully is odd.

Breaking stereotypes

As I sit here writing this and imbibe in my morning coffee I am currently wearing an older grey suit whose right sleeve is a tad tattered. The material feels nice against the touch and the weight is appropriate for the weather, but this morning when I was at the local jail before coming to my office a new client motioned to my sleeve. “Don’t you lawyers make oodles of dough?”

That’s a thought that many people have I suspect. The stereotype is that I because of my job am rolling in money. Truth is that I have a lucrative job and case load, but at the very essence when people ask what I do, I am a public defender and the state pays me very little for the work I do. Where I practice the cap amount, or the highest amount they will pay me, for a case that carries a life sentence is $5,000. My hourly wage is good at $50 an hour but pales to the comparable $150-275+ my colleagues in private practice obtain plus the timekeeping for public defense billing is tedious and requires almost constant carrying of a notebook that if I was to be searched would look oddly like a bookkeeper’s notebook with notes and names and times scratched in.

But that isn’t what this article is actually all about. I realize as I sit here I am a part of the stereotype that the media has created of what a Dominant is, and then there are parts of me that break that stereotype. I would love if I asked someone who is not a practicing member of our lifestyle community to describe a Dominant that they wouldn’t paint the picture of a Christian Grey or someone else who rivals the financial means of Bruce Wayne. I realize I have a leg up because I am in a field where it is perceived as authoritative, white collar with a required advanced degree and at least some semblance of reverence to it. But it would be just as easy for my friend (Actual friend) the garbage guy or the guys working at the factory on the line to be a Dominant in their spare time. The costume we put on before work shouldn’t dictate our perception of the core of the person.

When I am in court and to those who have seen me in that environment it would likely be easier to perceive my true nature. Just as I enjoy the sweet agony I inflict on sweetness in all senses of the word, I likewise enjoy inflicting some mind fornication in my professional dungeon. But to those who just know me from having a will done, or getting advice at the legal clinic, I am just “a sweet young man who reminds me of your grandfather”. Now that’s not to say those thoughts aren’t earned given the number of pro bono hours a week I give, the chats I share with older and hospice clients whose houses I go to at all hours to make sure their final wishes are documented, BUT behind the baby face and unassuming small town boy charm is a killer.

I further notice that there is a stereotype of the submissive female as well. In this stereotype the submissive is in some way defective but puts forward a great front to everyone except the Dominant. While I find the refutation of this stereotype tough given my history of “project” submissives, I do know a lot of submissives, some of whom are likely reading this blog, who are strong and empowered women who likely initially resisted the draw of the lifestyle and some who didn’t, there are likely executive level and professional level submissives, and not all I am sure have this earth shattering trauma in their past. We all have skeletons, and we all have little dents in our armor, but I think the concept of a helpless submissive who couldn’t possibly survive to the last page isn’t right either. None of the women I have been involved with as a Dominant or in a Dominant type role platonic or otherwise were on the verge of spontaneous combustion. Some were closer to the powder keg than others, but mostly they just had areas that could be improved to better their life and enjoyment thereof.

So here is to breaking stereotypes, here is to giving people a quality opportunity to display their true colors. To look beyond the costume of employment they wear out of necessity, and to examine the true colors that bear out after examination.

And out of my morbid curiosity, if you don’t mind sharing I would like to know what costumes the Dominants of my readers or my Dominant readers wear and your interpretation and honest evaluation of whether you consider stereotypes in the lifestyle. I think it is human nature to do so, but I wonder if it cannot and should not be overcome.

Warm day and thoughts all.

Mister Atlas

Last night sweetness remembered something. She remembered that she is the only person in the world for whom I completely drop all walls, barriers, disguises, and personas for. She looked at me last night from her position at my feet as we watched our shows for the week (Love DVR) and asked if she should call me Mister or Atlas.

For those unfamiliar with Atlas, he was the Titan god of endurance and after the Titanomachy or Battle of the Titans he was condemned to hold up the sky for eternity, which is often displayed as the world on his shoulders in common art.


I will admit I smiled a weary smile as she asked me that. Both in terms of her humor but also that it was what we call “geek” humor. The truth was that I in the last month have re-assumed the workload that I took a brief reprieve from as I sought another pursuit. I am almost back to my capacity caseload with multiple cases worthy of “hand holder” status. A few cases have life tails as a possible outcome, and in all the world will shatter if a positive outcome isn’t reached. And yet the income is horrific for the hours works because of what counts and doesn’t count for government billing. On top of that is the responsibility for income and expenses for a number of places of responsibility and the mounting realization that sweetness and I are living in a living version of the movie Moneypit.

Add onto that the normal concerns one has about children and their well being, plus sweetness’ ongoing anxiety issues which are exacerbated by certain things that I do that are completely innocuous and sometimes even unavoidable but still shake at the dynamic when they occur.

I have learned from grad school and my job so far that I carry my tension and stress in my shoulders and back so when she calls me Atlas I can honestly feel a relation and connection to the overthrown God’s plight.

As I ran my hand through her hair and kissed her head and said just call me Mister Atlas sweetness.

Turning the play

I am not an overly huge baseball fan. That said I have a small affinity for some memories that I truly treasure that came from baseball and looking forward to the coming three generations dime a dog night at the local minor ballpark when the little man is old enough to so gorge himself.

That said, in baseball there is an expression called turning a double play, it is normally said about an exchange between the short stop and second basemen, and it can be routine or acrobatic. In any case it requires practice, and communication to pull off without dropping the ball.

The coming few weeks sweetness and I will get to test our legs at turning the play that is life. I have a number of after hours obligations and meetings for business, church, and community functions. My sweetness is involved in a project that requires her attention in the evenings as well. That leaves all of the typical life stuff plus our dynamic to claim the bits and pieces left. It will require some acrobatics to pull off, but I have faith in our ability to do so without dropping the ball or in this case protocol. But ready or not life is coming hard into second.

30 days of Kinky- Day 5

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

Until I married sweetness I had not engaged in intercourse, but there were times in college when a significant other who I suppose looking back was acting in a submissive way was bound and performed oral on me.

30 days of Kinky – Day 4

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

I enjoyed playing tag and planting my “tags” on my female companions rears at recess, and I grew up in a time just before when that would get a child sent to the psych ward for being a sex offender like they do nowadays.

I also enjoyed when we played cops and bad guys being the one to bring in the female criminal and slapping those cheapo toy handcuffs on em and watching them play squirm in them as I led them to the tree/area we had designated as “jail”

Of course for a clear view of my latent Dominant tendencies one could look at my attempt to Dominate a teacher when I was in 4th grade. That sure made for a fun P/T conference.

30 days of Kink – Day 3

Day 3: How Did You Discover You Were Kinky?

The same way most teen boys of my generation really got their feet wet with sexual matters. The internet. I did the typical boy discovering porn online and then found spanking material. I lurked and pondered that for a bit until I went to college and discovered there was an entire community to that. Made some scene friends and one of which allowed me to discover my D/s proclivities and from there I have implemented those changes into my relationship with sweetness.